EP 358: Why Boundaries Are A Must for Overachievers with Terri ColeMar 24, 2023
How can setting clear boundaries lead to feeling empowered and connected to ourselves? Welcome, ladies, to the Real Estate InvestHER Show! In this episode, we get to be inspired by Terri Cole. Terri is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free. For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse client group, including everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs. She is gifted with making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show.
Terri emphasizes the importance of having clear boundaries and effectively communicating them to feel empowered and connected to ourselves. She also highlights the need to slow down, meditate, and give ourselves two to three seconds of response time in every situation. Terri discusses boundary destroyers, boundary bullies, and how codependency can be related to boundaries. She suggests that high-functioning individuals may be codependent without recognizing it. Terri encourages us to practice self-care and self-awareness and asks, "How can I best support you?" rather than taking control of another person's situation.
Lastly, she shares her 10-day challenge that helps us explore the boundaries we need and want while giving ourselves grace. Listen in, ladies, and get inspired to set clear boundaries and feel empowered!
“Nobody deserves an immediate yes. We need to start training people in our lives, that we think we deserve time to decide”. (18:36 - 19:15)
"We've been sold a bill of goods: If I do X, Y, and Z, then I've made a good life. But if it's not based on who you truly are, it'll feel empty because nobody really knows you. When we say yes but mean no, to please others, there's an existential loneliness that comes from not being known. How can anyone authentically love you if you never let them authentically know you?” (24:50 - 25:40)
“Your preferences, limits, desires and deal breakers. They don't just make up your boundaries, they make up who you are uniquely as a human being.” (25:52 - 26:02)
"Codependency, whether it's high functioning or the regular kind, is built on disordered boundaries because at its core, being co-dependent is an overt or a covert bid to control other people's outcomes.” (36:30 - 36:39)
Connect with Terri:
Terri’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/terricole
Boundary Boss by Terri Cole The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra
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